{"id":1182,"date":"2016-11-17T19:59:45","date_gmt":"2016-11-17T19:59:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/?p=1182"},"modified":"2020-12-16T18:37:20","modified_gmt":"2020-12-16T18:37:20","slug":"lessons-night-annoyed-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/lessons-night-annoyed-husband\/","title":{"rendered":"Lessons from the night I annoyed my husband"},"content":{"rendered":"

I want to share something that happened between my husband and me this week that highlights a really common conflict in marriage\u2026the face-off between those who want to talk and those who want silence. Dah dah daaaaaaaah..here we go.<\/p>\n

\"lessons

So the other night went like this. My husband gets home I’m making dinner and the baby is on and off screaming …<\/p>\n

Me: “Hey babe, how was the day!?”<\/em><\/p>\n

Him: “Eh it wasn’t that great.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: “Oh no I’m so sorry, did something happen?”<\/em><\/p>\n

Then I proceeded on with 20 or so questions trying to peel back the layers of my husband\u2019s day as I’m ironically preparing onions. Little did I know that my probing was just seriously annoying the heck out of him.<\/p>\n

I mean his voice was getting louder and louder and his tone a little more irritated but I thought his agitation was at me asking the wrong questions or our teething baby screaming or you something other than me actually showing a genuine interest in his day.<\/p>\n

But, you know, I’ve been wrong before and so we play hot potato with the baby until finally we surrender and he<\/em> starts making dinner. Mind you, my husband cannot cook. He ate tuna and easy Mac every night in college for dinner gross!<\/p>\n

So I’m trying to instruct him while I calm the baby but it’s like my voice is somehow drowned out by his inner thoughts and he, again, puts the ingredients in the wrong pan. He comes to and finally hears me saying, \u201cHey babe, that’s the wrong pan.\u201d<\/p>\n

He tosses the spatula up in exasperation and says,\u00a0\u201cThat makes no sense… all the onions are in the other pan. Why onions in both!? Why didn’t you tell me?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

So I say, \u201cUmmm what just happened? And I did tell you but you didn’t hear me or weren’t paying attention. So I guess this my fault too!?\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

BOOM! I said too much!! He grabs the baby and walks out the front door.<\/p>\n

Yeah, he took the baby… so, you know, it was like a weird fight with a mini vacation.<\/p>\n

So I do what any normal person would do which is continue the fight in my head while banging the pans around loudly just for dramatic effect. Seriously, I am in trouble for showing an interest?! The nerve. I would love someone to grill me about my day vs being the rambling woman I usually am.<\/p>\n

After we tuck the kids in and finish up the dishes, we talk about what happened.<\/p>\n

His defense was: “I told you I didn\u2019t want to talk about it and you seemed offended.”<\/em><\/p>\n

I say, \u201cWell it wasn\u2019t that you said you didn\u2019t want to talk. \u00a0It was that you were acting so irritated at me way before you said\u00a0that.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He says, \u201cSo if you could tell that I was irritated, why did you keep asking me questions?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Hmmm you make a very interesting point (but I didn’t actually\u00a0say that muwhahah).<\/p>\n

I respond: “I guess I thought it was the bad day that had you irritated (not me) and I\u00a0just wasn\u2019t asking the right question.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll save you all the rest of the details + it all got worked, but it highlighted a really common issue that comes up in most every single couple\u2019s marriage\u2026needing talk vs needing silence.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So let me break it down for you. Here are some lessons I learned from the night I annoyed my husband\u2026and a couple I\u2019m hoping he learned too.<\/p>\n