{"id":1635,"date":"2019-09-30T20:13:56","date_gmt":"2019-09-30T20:13:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/?p=1635"},"modified":"2019-09-30T20:13:56","modified_gmt":"2019-09-30T20:13:56","slug":"what-to-do-when-you-dont-understand-your-partners-behavior","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/what-to-do-when-you-dont-understand-your-partners-behavior\/","title":{"rendered":"What to do when you don&#8217;t understand your partner&#8217;s behavior"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Remember these three words: <strong>BEHAVIOR IS COMMUNICATION<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So\u2026.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Does your partner go silent during a tough discussion?<\/li>\n<li>Does your partner\u2019s tone change when having certain conversations?<\/li>\n<li>Does your partner get emotional when you respond in certain ways?<\/li>\n<li>Does your partner get defensive when you bring up a complaint?<\/li>\n<li>Does your partner reject your bids for affection?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1636 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/dont-understand-your-partner-01.png\" alt=\"dont understand your partner-01\" width=\"535\" height=\"952\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1636 lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/dont-understand-your-partner-01.png\" alt=\"dont understand your partner-01\" width=\"535\" height=\"952\" \/><\/noscript><\/p>\n<p>The thing is that behavior is usually communicating something that your partner\u2019s words aren\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>So the question is, <strong><em>are you paying attention to what his\/her behavior is telling you?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When you are baffled by a repeated behavioral response do the following 3 things:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>\n<h4>NOTICE THE BEHAVIOR.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Just make a simple observational statement. For example,<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cI notice that when I say x, you get really defensive. Can you tell me what that stirs up in you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<ol start=\"2\">\n<li>\n<h4>IMAGINE THEIR PERSPECTIVE.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Imagine you are in their shoes. What does it feel like to be your partner in that moment, can you respond in a way that shows you get it?!<\/p>\n<p>On the flip side, what behavior do you use to communicate? Can this help you gain some insight into what may be going on with your partner?<\/p>\n<ol start=\"3\">\n<li>\n<h4>ADDRESS THE EMOTION.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>When all else fails go toward the emotion and address it directly.<\/p>\n<p>Something like,<em> \u201cI sense you are annoyed, when I say x.\u201d or \u201cIt seems like what I said really hurt you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Then sit back and listen.<\/p>\n<p>These three simple steps can go a long way to helping solve some of the miscommunications that so often happen between couples.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Remember these three words: BEHAVIOR IS COMMUNICATION So\u2026. Does your partner go silent during a tough discussion? Does your partner\u2019s tone change when having certain&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1637,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[49,46],"tags":[156,155,93,154],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What to do when you don&#039;t understand your partner&#039;s behavior - Good Dating Book<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you totally baffled by your partner&#039;s behavior? 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