{"id":1639,"date":"2019-10-07T06:00:39","date_gmt":"2019-10-07T06:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/?p=1639"},"modified":"2019-10-02T19:02:46","modified_gmt":"2019-10-02T19:02:46","slug":"strategies-for-managing-difficult-conversations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/strategies-for-managing-difficult-conversations\/","title":{"rendered":"Strategies for managing difficult conversations"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In relationships it is a fact that at some point you will engage in a difficult conversation with your partner.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes these go well and, really, good for you. Healthy communication through difficult conversations is a massive achievement. ?<\/p>\n<p>However, it is MORE likely that you will encounter common issues like defensiveness, vulnerability, feeling frustrated, feeling unheard, feeling dismissed, confused at what the issue even is, or just flooded with emotions.<\/p>\n<p>So check out some strategies that can help you to feel more empowered and equipped to handle your next difficult conversation!<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1640 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/difficult-conversations-01.png\" alt=\"difficult conversations\" width=\"535\" height=\"952\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1640 lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/difficult-conversations-01.png\" alt=\"difficult conversations\" width=\"535\" height=\"952\" \/><\/noscript><\/p>\n<p><em>Disclaimer: Some of these may feel mechanical; however when your communication is not productive there may be a need to implement a more structured approach.<\/em><\/p>\n<h4>INSTEAD OF:<\/h4>\n<p>Going down a rabbit hole of disorganized complaints and frustrations.<\/p>\n<h4>TRY:<\/h4>\n<p>Try sticking to one main point or theme and do not get caught up in too many examples.<\/p>\n<h4>INSTEAD OF:<\/h4>\n<p>Focusing on the content or details of an argument.<\/p>\n<h4>TRY:<\/h4>\n<p>Talking about the process. Sometimes the process is a bigger deal than the little examples of content.<\/p>\n<p>Aka HOW YOU ARGUE vs. what you argue about.<\/p>\n<h4>INSTEAD OF:<\/h4>\n<p>Talking so long you lose your point, your\u00a0partner, or someone shuts down.<\/p>\n<h4>TRY:<\/h4>\n<p>Setting a timer and placing a limit on how long the discussion lasts. Create a plan to follow up later if more time is needed.<\/p>\n<h4>INSTEAD OF:<\/h4>\n<p>Getting overwhelmed and forgetting what you want to talk about.<\/p>\n<h4>TRY:<\/h4>\n<p>Creating an outline and writing it down before you start the conversation.<\/p>\n<h4>INSTEAD OF:<\/h4>\n<p>Having the difficult discussion when you&#8217;re in the middle of an\u00a0argument.<\/p>\n<h4>TRY:<\/h4>\n<p>Waiting until you are in a good place to have the discussion. You and your partner will be in a better frame of mind to work things out.<\/p>\n<h4>INSTEAD OF:<\/h4>\n<p>Going through the same frustrations during difficult conversations.<\/p>\n<h4>TRY:<\/h4>\n<p>Creating an agreed upon set of rules for your discussions. For example, X is off limits or no raising your voice, or no pointing, etc.<\/p>\n<h4>INSTEAD OF:<\/h4>\n<p>Talking out your issues.<\/p>\n<h4>TRY:<\/h4>\n<p>Writing them down and passing it back and forth over several days. Some people can write what they cannot verbally express.<\/p>\n<h4>INSTEAD OF:<\/h4>\n<p>One upping, dismissing, or escalating during an argument.<\/p>\n<h4>TRY:<\/h4>\n<p>The SPEECH approach. Each person says their side and the other responds with a &#8220;thank you for letting me know&#8221; then you take turns. No back and forth just uninterrupted statements.<\/p>\n<h4>INSTEAD OF:<\/h4>\n<p>One upping, dismissing, or escalating during an argument.<\/p>\n<h4>TRY:<\/h4>\n<p>The DEFENSE attorney approach. Take turns. After you explain your side, your partner presents your perspective back to you in the SAME amount of time you took. Then switch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In relationships it is a fact that at some point you will engage in a difficult conversation with your partner. Sometimes these go well and,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1641,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[49,46,81],"tags":[158,155,157,93],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Strategies for managing difficult conversations - Good Dating Book<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It is inevitable that you will encounter difficult conversations in your relationships so learn practical tips to better manage these conversations!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/strategies-for-managing-difficult-conversations\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Strategies for managing difficult conversations - 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