{"id":4187,"date":"2022-03-16T05:00:31","date_gmt":"2022-03-16T05:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/?p=4187"},"modified":"2022-03-15T22:47:36","modified_gmt":"2022-03-15T22:47:36","slug":"married-mental-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/married-mental-health\/","title":{"rendered":"Episode 4: Married to a partner struggling with their mental health"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4187\" class=\"elementor elementor-4187\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-8153dfd elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"8153dfd\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-row\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3d8c4719\" data-id=\"3d8c4719\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-48f5a17e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"48f5a17e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-text-editor elementor-clearfix\">\n\t\t\t\t<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/love-thinks-podcast\/id1612359256\">APPLE |<\/a>\u00a0<a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/2ygfDmFmsTtL3mjqw4gZ21\">SPOTIFY |<\/a>\u00a0<a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.stitcher.com\/podcast\/love-thinks-podcast\">STITCHER<\/a><\/h1>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div id=\"buzzsprout-player-10212184\"><\/div><script src=\"https:\/\/www.buzzsprout.com\/1945506\/10212184-married-to-a-partner-struggling-with-their-mental-health.js?container_id=buzzsprout-player-10212184&#038;player=small\" type=\"text\/javascript\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script>We are honored to be joined with Kelly, a mother of two young kids ages 2 and 4 months old. Kelly has been married for seven years but is currently separated. She wrote in because her husband struggles with depression and anxiety and she\u2019s found that there\u2019s little space for her to express her own needs without him either taking it as a personal attack or spiraling into a depressive episode.\u00a0<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-family: Futura, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; color: #000000;\">Some of the takeaways from the episode include:<\/span>\n<h3><br style=\"caret-color: #000000; color: #000000;\" \/><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-4189 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-535x803.png\" alt=\"podcast married and mental health\" width=\"350\" height=\"525\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-535x803.png 535w, https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-768x1152.png 768w, https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-624x936.png 624w, https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-600x900.png 600w, https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health.png 1000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-4189 lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-535x803.png\" alt=\"podcast married and mental health\" width=\"350\" height=\"525\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-535x803.png 535w, https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-768x1152.png 768w, https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-624x936.png 624w, https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health-600x900.png 600w, https:\/\/www.mylovethinks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/podcast-married-and-mental-health.png 1000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/><\/noscript><\/span><\/h3>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>1. Externalize the mental illness<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">When a couple is dealing with a mental illness in a relationship, especially when it has been going on for an extended period of time, it can be hard to separate out the person from the illness. \u00a0<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">Instead it can feel like the caretaker is doing all of the heavy-lifting, while the person suffering from the mental illness, is taking up all the space and energy in the relationship.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">Sometimes this is true and other times it can be helpful to treat the mental illness as an intruder in the relationship. \u00a0As if it is you and your partner vs. the mental illness.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">This helps to depersonalize some of the behaviors associated with the mental illness and can help you and your partner operate more effectively as a team.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"caret-color: #000000;\">Consider the two questions below:<\/span><\/span>\n<ul>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em>How would I (we) feel differently about this mental illness if we externalized it?<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em>How are WE going to deal with this mental illness?<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em>What is OUR plan when an episode hits?<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"caret-color: #000000;\"><i>\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>2. Develop a plan for dealing with mental health episodes + emotional escalation<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">One of the most important things a couple can do when dealing with mental illness in the relationship is seek support from professionals. \u00a0This is an incredibly hard issue to handle alone as a couple.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">In counseling, it can be helpful to develop a plan of action for things like:<\/span>\n<ul>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><i>How are we going to handle your next (depressive, anxious, manic, etc) episode differently than before?<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><i>How can I approach you when I have needs without sending you into an episode or escalating the conversation?<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><i>How can we better care for each other when you are not having an episode?<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><i>What is our plan for repair and recovery following an episode?<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><i>What extra supports can we integrate into our recovery plan?<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>3.\u00a0Evaluating the future<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">When you are the partner of someone with a mental illness, there can be a moment, or many, where you experience frustration around being caught off-guard. \u00a0Or feeling like\u00a0<span style=\"caret-color: #000000;\">you<\/span>\u00a0did not sign up for a lifetime of dealing with these tough emotions and situations.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">When having a partner with a mental illness, you may need to evaluate your future and whether or not you are willing and able to remain in the relationship. \u00a0<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">This is especially relevant if you&#8217;re currently separated or if serious misdeeds or betrayals have occurred. \u00a0<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">If you do remain in the relationship, you may need to grieve the loss of the relationship you once imagined.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">Some questions to consider are:<\/span>\n<ul>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><i>Is my partner willing to work on their mental illness or are they resistant to change\/help?<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><i>What growth have I seen in my partner?<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><i>Does my partner need medication? Have we tried all the resources that may be helpful?<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><i>What support do I have outside and within my relationship? Is this enough?<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><i>Can I handle the limitations in my relationship?<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3><em><strong>What else is there?<\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">To learn more, listen to the full episode.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">We hope you listen, subscribe, and review the podcast. \u00a0<a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/mylovethinks.com\/relationship-podcast\/\">If you want to apply to be a guest on the podcast, we&#8217;d love to hear from you.<\/a><\/span>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>APPLE |\u00a0SPOTIFY |\u00a0STITCHER We are honored to be joined with Kelly, a mother of two young kids ages 2 and 4 months old. Kelly has&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3601,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[49,248],"tags":[259,258,251,257,250],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Episode 4: Married to a partner struggling with their mental health - Good Dating Book<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We are honored to be joined with Kelly, a mother of two young kids aged 2 and 4 months old. Kelly has been married for seven years but is currently separated. 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